About Prionka Ray

I am a writer, workshop-facilitator, mentor and a communication consultant. A listener by nature, learner by choice and an advocate for social cause, I believe collaborations are necessary for a better world. To contribute, communicate or to promote ideas/ events/ books/ cause, please connect at rayprionka@gmail.com.

Deciphering Conversations


There’s so much that can be revealed through conversations or the lack of it. I have spent a lifetime, it seems, trying to decipher people based on conversations. The journey has not been a simple one.

When I was younger, I was shy. That meant I listened more than I spoke. I noticed. I observed. It was back then that I realised that much of the communication was unspoken: It was in the shift of the weight from one leg to another, it was in the pauses, it was in the expressions. As I grew older, my understanding changed and morphed, and often I had to correct myself in the light of new information and new understanding.

My fascination with communication led me to study it further. I moved beyond the initial university courses to expand my understanding. I took up further courses in Speech Communication Arts, where I understood communication through drama tools. And then I explored components of language, language systems, language acquisitions, and psychology of language, especially in social settings. Each new journey led me to understand conversations differently.adventure-backlit-clouds-772665.jpg

What was revealed to me at first was beyond my superficial comprehension. In simple words, I had opened the pandora’s box and I was trying to make sense of what came out. It had consequences. What does one do with the knowing? What if you get to know more about people than you had bargained for?  Do you react differently? Do you get more empathetic? And what if you are wrong? I had never thought that I will be faced with such questions. But here I was. Trying to answer it in whatever way I could. Conversations were complicated enough but online conversations and social media conversations complicated things even further. How do you know what you know? How do you trust it? After all, you can’t see the shift of stance, the glisten of eyes, and the change of tone. The navigation points needed change. Again.

Somewhere, down this journey, I looked inwards too. It is of course harder to decipher oneself than to decipher others. But it had to be done. Communication is a two-way process. If I don’t understand myself, I won’t understand others. This was the hardest part of the journey, and perhaps this one will last the longest.

Conversations are often layered and communication, usually problematic. However, it fascinates me still. I have built my entire life around it now. The questions continue: What was said? Why was it said? Why were some things left unsaid? And most importantly, what does it reveal about those we speak to, and what does our reaction to them reveal about us?

The most important learning of the journey is that some conversations will never be deciphered. Perhaps, that’s the beauty of it, knowing that one can never know it all. And yet understanding that volumes can sometimes be spoken and collective wisdom can be passed from one being to another, without conversation. According to historian, Yuval Noah Harari, this is the basis of our evolution as well.

My fascination with conversations continue, but I know that not all conversations are understood, and not all communications need conversations.pexels-photo-247195.jpeg

 

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Taming the Chaos — via Sequel


Starting is always chaotic. There are the rambunctious ideas, the stray thoughts, the millions of directions these thoughts could travel to, and the infinite ways of moving forward. They all buzz together, excited at the possibilities. That’s the beginning of any project, any creation, and any story. Then comes the process of taming these ideas, […]

via Taming the Chaos — Sequel Singapore

28th SGIFF Silver Screen Awards


It’s always a pleasure to write about the Singapore International Film Festival. Apart from the stalwarts who continue to enthral, there are new narratives to enjoy, and new talents to watch out for. But what I find the most fascinating about these festivals is that they give us an opportunity to trace the similarities, the commonalities and the common sensibilities of the region. Observing the thread of a common South East Asian identity is a beautiful experience.

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Source: IndoConnect. Text: Prionka Ray

Screen Shot 2018-03-04 at 5.51.04 PM

Source: IndoConnect. Text: Prionka Ray

Unifying Cultures through Designs


Lately, my work has been taking me in to the world of fashion and films, and it has been an absolute delight! Glitz and glamour aside, what I find most exciting is that there’s a certain amount of electric energy around creative people. That energy gets contagious, and it’s impossible not to be swept in to it. I got completely influenced as well, and loved being surrounded by the buzz of art, fashion, and films. It was beautiful to be surrounded by the swish of luxurious fabrics, the elements of eclectic designs, and eventually, by the various forms of storytelling.

What I also loved is the collaborative stance of these people; the reaching out, the merging of ideas, and the ultimate exposition of the finale. The world of art is best enjoyed with an open mind. I went in, a blank canvas, and I come out, enriched, having met people, who with their brilliance, and their collaborations, make the world a little more beautiful.

Jewellery Series: Interview with the inspiring Michael Koh of Caratell (Singapore)

Source: Sunmedia

Fashion Series: Meeting the effervescent Helen of NES by hdk (Indonesia)

Meeting designer, Helen of ‘NES by hdk’. Draped around me is the famed ‘stola’ from her latest collection. (Image: Prionka ray)

Source: IndoConnect, Sunmedia.

Source: IndoConnect, Sunmedia.

Mosaic


We understand the big events that make a difference, the events and interactions that change our directions in life. We know them because they alter our goals, they alter us, and they often alter our lives altogether. These bigger things, how can we miss them! We register them and we record them and then we recall them in great detail. But what about the littler moments, the one-off interactions, and the otherwise insignificant meetings, don’t they all add up too? For me they do.

The woman was a consultant. She had a portfolio and a job title. I had an appointment with her and we were seated in a stern and formal office. However, fifteen minutes in to the conversation, she was a woman just back from her maternity leave sharing her parenting concerns with me. I met her only once, but we were chatting away like people who have known each other for years. What started out as a business meeting wasn’t one anymore. I think we were animated conversational partners by the time we parted. I will probably never see her, but she was a happy part of my day.

This girl, barely out of her teens spoke a language I didn’t completely comprehend. So we communicated with more gestures than sentences. She was young, giggly and a tad bit over dramatic. I rolled my eyes at times, and laughed with her at other. I knew her for few months and then she went to the country where she came from. And yet I was anxious when she returned home because I worried that her journey back would not be easy. When she left, she took my hands and bowed in a show of respect. There was a lump in my throat as I wished her well. I knew I will never see her but I wish that I could.

He was my taxi driver. Not the chatty kinds, but he was the one with a kind voice and a gentle demeanor. He spoke of his grandson, the one who died few weeks ago. He spoke of him because he thought I was a teacher at the school where his grandson studied. I wasn’t, but before I could correct him, he went on talking about the grandson who he must have adored. His voice carried the love that he must have felt, a love that he still feels. He was embarrassed at having told me all this. I reassured him that I liked hearing it. I meant it. Late that evening, I remembered the loss, the pain and the little boy. I remembered him and he found a way in to my tiny prayer to whoever was listening up there.

The man was a stranger at the café. I don’t remember what he looked like, but I do remember his shoes. Those shoes were splattered with coffee, yes, from my coffee cup. I was absolutely mortified, and apologized as sincerely as I could, but those dirty shoes haunted me, and taunted me. I knew I was sloppy but I didn’t want strangers at the cafe to know such things. He didn’t sound very pleased but he did murmur something like, ‘don’t worry about it.’ But I did worry about it as I walked out, my face burning. I would rather not meet him again.

She was the lady at the post office. She had the sparkly eyes and the rotund frame. I was posting a letter to a childhood friend, and had found the most ornate envelope. She looked at it with a smile and said, ‘love letter?’ I smiled and said, ‘no.’ ‘What a pity!’ said she, and we laughed about the love letter that I didn’t send.

Everyday, I meet people I will never see again. These tiny interactions, and meetings leave something back in my life. They are like shiny, multicolored pebbles. I recall the big events of my life but very often I seem to forget these other encounters, the ones that were shorter and perhaps, of little or no consequence. But they remain somehow, through my day, and even after that. They turn in to mosaics, these beautiful, little encounters.

(A mosaic is a piece of art or image made from the assemblage of small pieces of colored glass, stone, or other materials).