I Gathered What I Needed


From things, tangible and intangible, I gather what I need. And then I walk under the blue sky, lighter in steps, unhindered and free. I am done paying my dues, and I am done fighting the battles. But I am done now, and as I lay down my arms, my mask, and my armour, I let the runners pass me by. They run past with their shiny badges, picking up speed. But then their road is not mine to take. Their lofty promises are not mine to make. Their goals, they weigh me down. Their shiny baubles, they blind my eyes. So, I shy away. But a few noble ones extend their hands magnanimously. I feel awed by their presence. I am dwarfed by their stature. I am grateful of this gesture, I say.

But I am done treading paths not mine, so, thanks, but I will stay.  Then they promise me a land of treasure and I assure them that I have treasures of own. Yes, those (irrelevant) gratitude notes, the (invaluable) hand-written letters and the (little) acts of kindness. They are confused by now but I carry on. I tell them of my valuable memories, my hefty faith, and my dazzlingly impossible dreams. I have indeed gathered what I need. And now I walk barefoot on this dusty road, free to believe, free to be. This race is yours, not mine, I tell them. The battles are yours, not mine. And this pace is yours, not mine. I have slowed down, and happily so. Run past me my friends, I say. I will surely cheer you on. Do share with me your stories someday. Oh yes, I will still be awed, and I will still be pleased! But if you decide to walk with me, then I will share with you, my peace.

 

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Lesser


Pride,

I had wrapped myself in it.

A garb of the young,

a cloak of the naive,

A delusional veil of the ignorant!

Fear,

Yes, a bit of that too,

perhaps…

I knew not,

that time spares none,

Yes, not even me!

Why was I surprised

at being thus reduced?

Wasn’t it but inevitable?

Wasn’t it meant to be?

It was.

And it did do away

With my claws,

My edges,

My height.

My walls,

My disdain,

My might.

I was to be

Stunted,

small and slight,

In stature and in circumstances.

Was that it?

Aghast,

I lowered my eyes,

With disbelief at first,

With humility later

And with acceptance eventually.

I am ready, I said,

To chip off a bit more,

To crumble in places,

To be reduced as deemed right.

And now here I am…

Blunted,

Softer,

Lesser,

And yet at peace.

I am proud still,

But of others.

I am garbed still,

But in reflected glory.

I am resplendent still,

But that’s a joyous sheen you see.

A seamless, serene and sequinned mist,

That lends light to every pore in me.

In my nothingness, I discovered vastness,

In being lesser, I received more.

I surrendered,  and I accepted the inevitable.

It’s when I drifted that I found my shore.

(Lesser© by Prionka Ray)