The Grudge Holders

‘How long do you hold on to a grudge? Few minutes? Few months? Few years?’

‘A lifetime’, replied the grudge holder beaming with pride. A lifetime is rather long but the grudge holder was convinced about the length. ‘If I let go of my grudge, I will have to let go of my pride’, came the reasoning. ‘If I let go of my grudge, I will be vulnerable again. The grudge ensures that I protect myself from hurting myself emotionally. It’s a shield’, quipped in another. It was a lesson learnt, they thought. The 3rd grudge holder thought for a while since she had forgotten why she held on to the grudge in the first place and finally answered with a sheepish smile. ‘Its become a habit so it’s hard to let go’.

‘What if you don’t let go of your grudge but put it on a diet and reduce the weight a bit?’ This came from the wise one, the revered one, the one who has lived for many years and was usually reluctant to giving suggestions but the grudge holders were not convinced. According to them, the grudge grew heavier with time. There was no way to reduce it. Letting go was never easy so they frowned a bit, were bent by the weight that they carried and effortlessly got lost in the huge crowd of grudge holders. They felt a kinship. After all, there were so many of them. There must be some justification in what they were feeling. There was unity in numbers and validation for a feeling so wide-spread.

Somewhere in the crowd, there was a clumsy one, a butter-fingered man who could never hold on to anything for too long. Accidentally, he dropped his weight and saw his pride shatter on his feet. The grudge escaped, leaving the host looking bewildered without the usual weight. Sorrow left him next, taking with her the furrowed brows. The clumsy one stood there undecided. Seeing his plight, a grudge holder came forward to help, forgetting his shield. Slowly a few more let go of their grudges for they were followers. They always followed others, seldom using their mind. The other grudge holders looked down upon them. They were deemed ‘foolish and spineless’.

The group of ‘foolish and spineless’ remained small but they were caught smiling. They were certain to be punished or at the most hurt by someone for dropping their guards but they didn’t care. They felt light, happy and energised. Few of the grudge holders looked envious at the smaller group of happy people. The wise one smiled. He had a question for the big crowd of grudge holders. ‘Will you let go now?’  There was silence for a while and then the grudge holder nearest to him replied.

‘If I let go of my grudge, what will I pass over to my next generation?’ Disappointed, the wise one walked on,  hoping to meet more clumsy ones.

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